Because Apparently We Still Need to Talk About This in 2025
Let’s be honest: texting should’ve come with a rulebook. Or at least a “Do Not Disturb” setting for people who abuse it. We’ve had smartphones for over a decade now, and yet – YET – people are still out here texting like it’s 2003 and they’ve got a Nokia brick with a character limit and a side of clueless.
So let’s make things official. Here are 7 unwritten rules of texting that should 100% be law. Federal law. Like, punishable-by-silent-treatment law. Lol!
1. The One-Word Response is a War Crime
You text someone a paragraph – a mini TED Talk of emotion, nuance, and personality – and they hit you back with “k.”
K?? That’s not a response. That’s an act of psychological warfare.
Even worse? “Lol.” At what? What part was laughable? My trauma? My witty observation about how capitalism is just a pyramid scheme in yoga pants?
If you’re gonna text like a dry bag of toast crumbs, just don’t. Texting is a conversation, not a passive-aggressive shrug. If you’re not up for a vibe, say so. Don’t turn your thumbs into weapons of mass disinterest.
Here’s the fix: If you can’t match energy, at least acknowledge it. “Oof, I’m not in the headspace to reply fully but I read it and I’m here.” Boom. Emotional maturity. Who knew?
2. Time Gaps Are Fine… Unless You’re Actively Posting on Instagram
We’re all adults. We’ve got jobs, responsibilities, existential dread – we get it. You don’t have to text back instantly.
BUT. If I text you and you don’t reply for 8 hours, yet you’ve posted four Instagram Stories, liked my cousin’s engagement pics, and shared a Reel of a raccoon eating grapes in slow motion, we have a problem.
Don’t ghost me on one app and haunt me on another. It’s giving “I saw it, ignored it, and prioritized a raccoon.”
Here’s the fix: If you’re not ready to reply, cool. But at least send a “Hey, saw this, will respond properly later.” You don’t have to be on-call – you just have to not be a digital hypocrite.
3. Texting “Hey” and Nothing Else Should Be Illegal
“Hey.”
…
And then what?
Texting “hey” is like knocking on someone’s door and then running away. It’s lazy. It’s vague. It’s a conversation cliffhanger nobody asked for.
What do you want? Why are you here? Is this a hostage situation or a booty call? Give me something to work with.
Here’s the fix: Start with context. “Hey, quick question about Saturday…” or “Hey, random but I saw something that reminded me of you…” Literally anything besides just “hey.” We are grown. Initiate like it’s not your first time speaking to another human.
4. If You Type “LOL” But You’re Not Laughing… You’re a Liar
The word “LOL” has become the duct tape of texting. We slap it onto everything to soften the blow, mask awkwardness, or pretend we have emotions. But we both know you didn’t laugh. You didn’t even exhale out your nose.
Don’t “LOL” when you mean “I’m bored but too polite to say it.” Or “LOL” to defuse your bad opinion like it’s a verbal fire extinguisher.
Even worse: using “LOL” to end an insult. Example: “You’re literally such a mess LOL.” Girl, are you dragging me or asking me to laugh about it?
Here’s the fix: Use your words. Real ones. Try “that’s wild,” “I can’t,” or “omg stop” if you’re trying to stay casual. Don’t fake-laugh your way through discomfort. Say what you mean or be quiet. We’ll both be happier.
5. Texting After 10PM Without Context Is a Red Flag
Unless you’re blood-related, on fire, or delivering pizza, there is zero reason to text someone at 10:37PM with “You up?”
Are you texting me or summoning a demon?
Late-night texts are their own species. They’re rarely casual and almost always confusing. Are we flirting? Venting? Starting an emotional rollercoaster I didn’t buy a ticket for?
Here’s the fix: If you’re texting after dark, clarify why. “Hey, sorry it’s late, just wanted to check something quickly.” Boom. Clarity. Now I’m not spiraling wondering if you’re emotionally unstable or just lonely with wifi.
6. Don’t Start a Conversation You Have No Intention of Finishing
Texting someone “How are you?” and then disappearing is emotional hit-and-run. You lit the match – don’t walk away from the fire.
Nothing’s worse than opening up in a reply – “Actually, it’s been a rough week…” – and then getting crickets for 3 days. Did I just trauma dump into the void? Are you alive? Was this a trap?
Here’s the fix: If you’re checking in, commit. If you can’t hold space for someone, don’t open the door. Send a meme instead. It’s less cruel than offering support you’re not actually providing.
7. Group Chats Are Not Personal Journals
We all know a Group Chat Goblin. The one who drops a stream-of-consciousness rant into a chat with 11 people at 7AM. No punctuation. No warning. Just chaos.
Group chats are like public parks – communal, casual, and not the place for your emotional meltdown or live blog of your brunch.
Also, if you accidentally like a message from 4 days ago, you should be legally required to leave the group for 24 hours. It’s only fair.
Here’s the fix: Use group chats for coordination, chaos, and the occasional meme. If you’ve got something deep, take it to DMs. No one needs to see 83 unread messages because you’re fighting with your roommate about stolen oat milk.
Why This Stuff Actually Matters (Yes, Really)
Okay, jokes aside – texting etiquette isn’t just about being cool. It’s about respect.
Digital communication is how most of us maintain relationships now. Friends. Coworkers. Dates. Memes with your mom. When people ignore basic texting decency, it chips away at connection.
It leads to misread signals, frustration, and full-on overthinking spirals. And guess what? Most of that is avoidable. With a smidge of awareness and a dash of effort, you could stop being the “ugh” person in someone’s inbox and actually start building better conversations.
So if you’re tired of people ghosting, dry texting, or sending you emoji hieroglyphics you can’t decode – start modeling the behavior you wish they had. You might just start a revolution. Or at least stop rage-texting your bestie about the “k” guy.
Let’s Argue in the Comments (Because You Know You Have Opinions)
Which texting sin is your personal pet peeve?
Are you the one out here sending “hey” with no follow-up? Do you have a “guilty LOL” habit you need to confess? Drop it below – we want the tea, the takes, and the clapbacks.
Also, check out these articles while you’re already judging everyone in your contacts list:
- The Self-Awareness Delusion: 5 Types Who Always Think They “Get It”
- That Grand Romantic Gesture Might Not Mean What You Think It Means…
- 15 Times People Had Zero Social Awareness in Public
Because the group chat may never be safe again—but your etiquette could be.