And Matthew Hussey Explained Why…
You know that feeling when someone goes all in romantically?
- Surprise trip
- Giant bouquet
- Candlelit dinner with a speech so dramatic it deserves an Oscar
And suddenly you’re like, “Okay wow… maybe they ARE serious about me?”
Well, hold up.
Because Matthew Hussey, relationship coach and professional BS detector, just dropped a truth bomb on YouTube – and it’s not what you think.
Watch the full video below if you want to ruin romantic gestures forever (you’re welcome).
But if you want the dramatic slow reveal? Keep reading!
We’re breaking it down Opinionated AF style.
The Problem With The Grand Gesture (That Nobody Wants To Admit)
Matthew’s point is simple, but devastating:
“The more dramatic the gesture… the more you should be asking why they need to go that big.”
Oof. Let that one simmer for a second.
Because sure, we love romance.
But when someone comes in hot with a performative gesture right after acting like a walking red flag?
Something ain’t adding up.
The Classic Pattern You’ve Probably Seen (Or Starred In)
Let’s set the scene:
- They cancel plans.
- They ignore texts.
- They’re emotionally MIA for three days straight.
Then suddenly – boom:
“I’ve booked us a weekend getaway. I know I’ve been distant, but this will fix everything.”
Translation: They messed up, and they want you distracted.
What it looks like: romance.
What it actually is: panic button disguised as effort.
But Wait – What If It Feels Genuine?
Great question. And Hussey doesn’t totally shut that down.
He says some gestures can be sincere.
But – and this is the kicker – they should be part of a bigger picture of consistent behavior.
Let’s break it down.
A truly healthy relationship looks like:
- Effort daily, not occasionally
- Accountability, not extravagance
- Small acts of care, not emotional rollercoasters
So if the only time they go all-in is after being shady?
That’s not love. That’s damage control in a gift box.
Introducing: Love Bombing (Yeah, It’s A Thing)
Matthew Hussey name-drops a term that should be in everyone’s dating vocabulary:
LOVE BOMBING
Definition?
When someone overwhelms you with affection, praise, and grand gestures way too early in the relationship to gain control.
It’s not romantic – it’s manipulative.
Love bombers:
- Move fast
- Say all the right things
- Make you feel like you’ve found “the one” in 72 hours
And then?
They pull back. Get cold. Make you work for their attention again.
Sound familiar?
Don’t Fall For The Fireworks
Here’s where Hussey really hits hard (and we agree 100%):
“Someone who truly cares will show it consistently – not just when they feel you slipping away.”
Let that one marinate.
Because real love isn’t about the “wow” moments.
It’s about the boring, stable, beautiful things like:
- Actually calling when they say they will
- Respecting your boundaries
- Being emotionally available without needing an audience
The stuff that doesn’t go viral – but keeps you sane.
So What Should You Look For Instead?
Forget the Hollywood-style gestures.
Hussey says the real green flags are in the tiny things:
✔️ Texting you just to check in
✔️ Owning up to mistakes
✔️ Being there without needing applause
Basically: If someone treats you right when no one’s watching, you’re good.
If they only show up when they’re at risk of losing you? Red flag city.
Let’s Be Honest – Have You Been Love Bombed?
Maybe you’ve dated the “Grand Gesture Guru.”
Maybe you were the one hypnotized by it.
Either way, it’s time to spill.
Drop your story in the comments:
- Did they sweep you off your feet just to vanish later?
- Did the “romantic” moments feel a little too… strategic?
- Ever get whiplash from a relationship that felt like a music video and a crime documentary?
Let’s talk about it. Let’s call it out.