Look, the word “cancelled” gets thrown around a lot these days. But let’s be real—some things deserve it. Not people, mind you—just bizarre events, cringy habits, or seasonal horrors we endure every single year.
Since we’re already nearly through April, we’re focusing strictly on all the crazy and hilarious nonsense from May to December that honestly needs to go.
Agree? Disagree? Great—fight us in the comments.
1. Cinco de Mayo (The American Version) — May 5
Unless you’re actively celebrating Mexican culture, this holiday mostly just turns into a bad taco Tuesday filled with watered-down margaritas and questionable sombrero selfies.
Let’s retire the fake moustaches and endless “cinco-drinko” jokes. Your Mexican neighbors will thank you.
2. Mother’s Day Social Media Tributes — May 11
Every year, millions of people write heartfelt posts to their moms on Facebook and Instagram—moms who aren’t even on social media.
How about a phone call, flowers, or a brunch reservation instead? Your mom deserves better than an online shout-out that she’ll never see.
3. National Doughnut Day — June 6
Every year there’s chaos as everyone flocks to Dunkin’ or Krispy Kreme for their “free” doughnut—which costs you an hour of your life in line.
Spoiler: it’s just a doughnut. And guess what? They sell them every other day of the year too.
But if you really want to know all about National Doughnut Day, here’s the history.
4. Fireworks from July 5 to September 1
July 4th? Fine, have your moment. But the guy who’s setting off explosives at 2 AM on August 22 needs to face consequences.
Let’s collectively cancel fireworks after Independence Day—seriously, some of us have jobs (and pets with PTSD).
If I had my say, I’d ban them completely!
5. Pumpkin Spice Launch Day — Late August (Unfortunately)
August isn’t even autumn, yet coffee shops declare war on tastebuds by releasing pumpkin spice lattes while we’re still sweating through our summer shirts.
Pumpkin spice does not belong anywhere near flip-flops and swimsuits. Have mercy.
6. “Christmas in July” (Hallmark Channel Edition) — Entire Month of July
Christmas movies in July? Who actually asked for this? It’s 95 degrees outside, and we’re expected to feel festive watching C-list actors fake holiday cheer in sweaters and scarves.
Let’s keep Christmas firmly planted in December.
7. Daylight Saving Time Ending — November 2
Who still supports messing with clocks in 2025? Falling back an hour doesn’t give us meaningful extra sleep—it gives us darkness at 4 PM, seasonal depression, and the feeling of eternal gloom.
Pick a time zone and commit already.
8. Election Season Robocalls — October & November
Political spam calls are basically harassment at this point. No, “Robot Mike,” I will not take your election poll or donate to candidate X.
Maybe in 2025 we can cancel phone calls altogether and just text like civilized humans. 🙂
9. Black Friday Stampedes — November 28
It’s 2025, and we’re still trampling each other over discounted air fryers? Can we finally retire this consumerist battle royale?
Cyber Monday exists, people. Stay home in your pajamas and save your dignity (and bones).
10. Elf on the Shelf Season — November
That smug little elf is just parental torture disguised as tradition. Moving a creepy doll around your house every night while your kids sleep?
Cancel it. Replace it with something less stressful, like…literally anything else.
11. Ugly Christmas Sweater Parties — December
They were ironically funny in 2010. Now, ugly sweater parties are just forcing us to buy overpriced “ugly” apparel.
Ironically spending $60 on a hideous sweater doesn’t make it better—it’s just capitalism wearing tinsel.
12. Fruitcake Season — December
This brick of preserved fruits has haunted us for generations. Nobody likes fruitcake. Nobody eats fruitcake. They just gift it and re-gift it in a vicious holiday loop. Can we finally end the madness?
13. New Year’s Eve (The Forced Fun Version) — December 31
Every year we convince ourselves New Year’s Eve must be amazing. Instead, we overspend, overdress, and stand awkwardly in crowded rooms waiting for a ball to drop.
Normalize staying home in sweatpants and cancel forced New Year’s cheer in 2025.
Time to Cancel the Nonsense?
Got strong opinions? (Of course you do—it’s the internet.) Tell us what else should be cancelled from May to December. We’re here for all the drama.