You know those mysterious “rules” we all seem to follow, even though no one remembers who made them? They’re invisible, usually dumb, and have somehow survived generations without being questioned.
Well, we’re calling them out today because, frankly, they’re past their expiration date. Buckle up, buttercup—let’s roast some societal norms that have overstayed their welcome.
Scroll on, and let’s dismantle some nonsense together.
1. You Can’t Leave Until Everyone Sings “Happy Birthday”
Who decided we all have to awkwardly stand around and chant the world’s most depressing song off-key before anyone can escape the torture? If anything, singing “Happy Birthday” just reminds the birthday person they’re one year closer to death.
Honestly, let’s normalize blowing out candles without subjecting everyone to mandatory group humiliation. Spare us the cringe and just cut the cake already.
2. Saying “Bless You” After Someone Sneezes
Look, it’s 2025—we’ve collectively decided Pluto isn’t even a planet, yet we still think our souls are escaping through our noses when we sneeze? Saying “bless you” feels like unnecessary spiritual panic.
Maybe it’s time we chill and let sneezes be what they are—just dramatic body functions that don’t need divine intervention. Besides, if someone sneezes more than twice, they’re clearly doing it for attention anyway.
3. Waiting 24 Hours to Text Back After a Date
This isn’t 1998, and we’re not saving minutes on a Nokia flip phone. Deliberately waiting an entire day to text someone back doesn’t make you look cool—it makes you look like you still watch rom-coms for dating advice.
If you like someone, text them whenever the hell you want. Life’s short—do you really want to waste precious hours pretending to be busy watching reruns of “Friends”?
4. Never Asking a Woman Her Age
This rule is as outdated as asking permission to use the internet. Spoiler alert: women age, men age, houseplants age. Being weirdly secretive about age just perpetuates unnecessary shame.
Let’s toss this rule along with your expired mayo. Ask away, and if someone doesn’t want to answer, they’ll probably roast you for being nosy, and that’s fair game too.
5. Dress Codes for “Fancy” Restaurants
Congratulations, your restaurant has white tablecloths and dim lighting. Why does that mean I need to put on uncomfortable shoes and pretend I regularly iron my clothes?
Unless my T-shirt literally says, “I’m only here for the bread basket,” let’s drop the snobbery. We’re here to eat overpriced pasta, not to audition for a role in “Downton Abbey.”
6. Giving Two Weeks’ Notice When Quitting a Job
Employers barely give employees two seconds’ notice before layoffs, yet we’re expected to announce our departures with enough time for them to emotionally process it? Unless your boss is paying your therapy bills, let’s stop pretending this is mutual respect.
If corporations want loyalty, maybe offer a reason to stick around other than free donuts on Fridays. Until then, a “peace out” email should be more than sufficient.
Did you know? If you’re in the UK, the expected norm is to give four weeks’ notice.
7. Saving “Good China” for Special Occasions
Who exactly are we saving these plates for—the Pope? Oprah? If neither is coming over for dinner, maybe tonight’s spaghetti deserves the fancy dishes too.
Newsflash: You paid money for that china. Use it, chip it, live your best life. What good are fancy plates if they spend their lives locked away like porcelain prisoners?
8. RSVP’ing Even If You’re Not Attending
In the age of Instagram Stories and Snapchat maps, do hosts really still need a handwritten “sorry, can’t make it” note from you? If your friend’s feelings get hurt because you didn’t RSVP to their dog’s birthday party, maybe that’s not your biggest problem.
Let’s cancel the guilt trip. If I didn’t click “Going,” assume I’m home binging Netflix, not plotting your social ruin.
9. Pretending to Like Expensive Wine
If your $8 grocery-store wine tastes better than a $60 bottle of grape-infused gasoline, own it. Wine snobs act like they can taste “hints of oak and whispers of lavender,” but we know deep down it just tastes like fermented grape juice.
Let’s normalize picking wine based on funny labels and low price points. Life’s too short to pretend you taste something other than regret from an overpriced bottle.
Your Turn—What Rules Are You Done With?
Have we missed any other ridiculous rules that belong in a history book? Drop your hot takes in the comments and let’s finally put some of these outdated expectations to rest.
And if you’re still heated, we’ve got more:
- 15 “What Would You Do?” Situations That Will Split the Room
- 11 Annoying Things People Do That Should Be Ticketable Offenses
- 10 Popular Foods That Are Totally Overrated (Don’t @ Me)
Stay opinionated, friends.