Brace yourselves, foodies. We’re diving headfirst into the flavor minefield of so-called “must-haves” that people rave about like they’re edible gold. But guess what? Some of them are just hype wrapped in Instagram filters. Ready to get triggered? Good!
1. Avocado Toast
Oh look, it’s the official breakfast of people who think owning plants counts as a personality. Newsflash: it’s just mushed-up avocado on overpriced bread. And if you think adding red chili flakes makes it gourmet, congratulations—you’ve been duped by brunch propaganda.
2. Truffle Oil Everything
Truffle fries. Truffle mac. Truffle popcorn. Truffle air. It’s like someone spilled perfume in a deep fryer and called it luxury. Real truffles are rare. Truffle oil? A synthetic scam with an ego bigger than your last date’s crypto pitch.
3. Pumpkin Spice Anything
Every fall, society loses its collective mind over this basic blend of nutmeg and peer pressure. Pumpkin spice isn’t a flavor—it’s a marketing scheme dressed in yoga pants and knee-high boots. Your coffee deserves better.
4. Acai Bowls
They look like art and taste like… cold, overpriced smoothie soup. It’s the illusion of health, drowned in honey and granola. If you’re paying $14 to eat something with the consistency of baby food, that’s between you and your wallet.
5. Lobster Rolls
Tiny sandwich. Giant price tag. Sure, lobster is nice and all, but does it really belong smothered in mayo and crammed into a hot dog bun? Half the time you’re just paying for coastal vibes and regret.
6. Matcha Anything
It’s the color of envy and tastes like someone powdered a houseplant. But sure, keep sipping that $7 matcha latte and telling yourself you’re cleansing your aura. We’ll be over here enjoying coffee with flavor.
What the heck is matcha anyway? I have to say, matcha reminds me of the green sick emoji. 🤢
7. Kale
Let’s be honest—kale is salad’s punishment. Tough, bitter, and only tolerable when disguised with bacon or drowned in dressing. It’s not superfood, it’s super forced. Spinach would like a word.
8. Macarons
Tiny, pastel-colored lies. They look like dessert, but they taste like chewy air with a sugar hangover. You get two bites for $3 and zero satisfaction. Honestly, give me a good old chocolate chip cookie and keep your French fluff.
9. Charcuterie Boards
Ooh, adult Lunchables! Except now it’s fancy and comes with a side of pretension. Half the stuff on the board tastes like foot and the rest is just a pile of crackers. And don’t even get me started on the meat roses.
10. Caviar
Salty fish eggs. That’s it. That’s the tweet. Just because it costs a fortune doesn’t mean it’s good. Some people pretend to like caviar just to feel rich. But deep down, we all know it tastes like ocean-scented regret. Pure yuk!
Don’t Yell, Just Comment
Love ‘em? Hate ‘em? Add your own to the list and let the food fights begin in the comments. One thing’s for sure: not every “must-try” food is worth the hype… or the bill.